Craphead (aka Mommy)

We are not having another child. There is no doubt about that. There are many reasons I don’t want more kids, but sometimes it’s fun to think about what I would do differently and what I would do the same. 

I know that I would definitely use a midwife again. I would search for a good one and have a homebirth, no doubt about that. I would exercise more regularly during the pregnancy. I would eat as healthy as I could, especially to avoid insulin resistance (I am sure that I had insulin resistance when I was pregnant with Mo and that that has contributed to her chubbiness). I would skip all ultrasounds. I would get regular massages and adjustments. 

I would do the Vitamin K, but orally as we did with Moira. My objection is more to the shot than the use of Vitamin K. I would definitely not vaccinate, but we would do the newborn screening test as we did with both kids. I would breastfeed for sure and would definitely co-sleep (unless for some reason the baby didn’t like that). I would learn to use different baby carriers and use them more often, I think. I would definitely use cloth diapers again, but I would splurge and get some all-in-ones or something. In fact, I’d have some research to do because there are so many more options than there were when Chico Habib was born.

I think the biggest thing I would do is make sure I have way more help after the baby arrives. I would welcome help of any sort. I would also want some quiet. I might want visitors, but it would be limited for a couple of weeks. I would also want quiet bonding time for the family. I would also not try to jump right back into everything. I would enjoy my babymoon, darnit! I don’t feel like I did that with either baby for different reasons. With Chico Habib I didn’t enjoy it because we had such a rough time with the breastfeeding and I felt like such a failure and it was a horrible time. Plus, he was never big on the whole sleeping and napping business, so it was hard to enjoy a babymoon. With Mo, it was the darn afterpains that made it hard to enjoy my babymoon. Also, tandem nursing was hard. Very hard. I don’t regret doing it, but also would not want to do it again. 

Anyway, it’s hard to give advice to people, which is why I wrote this as a "What if" sort of post. Not everyone is interested in homebirth, which is fine. I do think people should explore their options, choose their care providers carefully, and think about the kind of birth experience they want. Having a healthy baby is important, but having a positive birth experience is also important. So many women are taken advantage of, threatened, and scared while they are at the hospital. This is NOT right and I think that if women have educated themselves, they are less likely to be taken advantage of.

I do think that everyone should give breastfeeding a try, and, most importantly, make sure they have a support system for breastfeeding BEFORE the baby arrives. I think that people should respond to the cries of their babies and should keep them close. I think that people should educate themselves about vaccines. I think that circumcision should be outlawed unless medically necessary. Of all the decisions we’ve made, keeping Chico Habib intact was one of the best. It wasn’t really a decision so much as a thought that it was HIS body and his choice. I think that women should have a babymoon and be able to enjoy it. I think families should pitch in and treat the new mom like a queen and take care of her. And that women should let people do this for them. I so wish I had!